Grill_Master

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Dec. 25th, 2008 @ 12:44 am Okay, first post in a year. Here's my contribution for a feel good Christmas Story.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab2pos1

I thought it was a hell of an effort from a lot of people.

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Oct. 31st, 2007 @ 10:28 pm Halloween and candy

Hello fellow freaks.

I bring you espn's candy ranker.

How does your favorites stack up?

Take the test, waste five minutes of your life and know if you like the crappy candy, or if like me you choose the top ranked candy as your favorite!

(I do feel better that my number 2 choice was 30th)

http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/sportsnation/rank?versionId=1&listId=56

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Sep. 5th, 2007 @ 07:51 am Spank Festival Warnings

Greetings to all my fellow perverts!

For the select few of us that are headed to Wisconsin this weekend, I give you this.

Bugs: Phil Pellitteri, a University of Wisconsin-Madison entomologist, said mosquito eggs that were dormant throughout the drought are just now starting to hatch after last month's monsoon-like rain. Hatches vary depending on the amount of water and other factors, so it's likely eggs will continue to hatch throughout September.

To get a handle on mosquito populations, entomologists often perform "biting counts," which involves - oddly enough - volunteers who allow the pesky bugs to bite them and then count the number of welts. Had anyone done a biting count in the past few days, the numbers probably would have been off the charts.

"Without any question, if we had anyone foolish enough - my wife wasn't willing to volunteer - we would have been in the range of 300 to 400 bites," said Pellitteri, meaning that's how many bites there would have been per person. "There were just clouds of mosquitoes. You couldn't walk fast enough."

Weather:

Thu
Sep 6

Isolated T-Storms

83°/65°

30%

83°F

Fri
Sep 7

AM T-Storms

73°/52°

60%

73°F

Sat
Sep 8

Partly Cloudy

75°/52°

10%

75°F

Plan a Scenic Drive

Sun
Sep 9

Few Showers

62°/43°

30%

If you are like me, pack the bug spray... a lot of it.

If you are like the babbler, pack the blankets.

PS: Don't expect to see her naked a lot at these temps.

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Aug. 15th, 2007 @ 09:54 am (no subject)

Okay here is my night/morning:

12:00 Go to bed with wife (supposed to be up at 6:30 for first day of school)

12:30 Phone rings, wakes me from being almost asleep (gotta love that left coast princess)

1:00 Get out of bed as I'm getting more and more awake

1:15 Say hello to Kirby online

1:20 Start talking to TooTall online

2:00 Say goodnight to Tootall, curse at myself for not being able to sleep

3:00 Finish talking at drugged up Kirby, wonder if I'll ever sleep again

4:00 Give up on wandering over the internet, certain that I covered every site I have bookmarked on my computer at least twice. (Yes, including the porn)

4:00 Try to go to sleep, noting to myself that I'm supposed to wake up in less than 2 1/2 hours

Somewhere around 4:30ish Fall asleep and stays in that state well paste the arrival of the first day of school

7:50 ish Awaken by my sexy wife giving me the first blowjob of the school year

7:52 Awaken to the fact that my wife did not actually blow me.

7:55 changes the sheets because of my wet dream

8:05 decide this is the story I'm gonna tell, because admitting that I wet the bed wasn't gonna happen

10:00 wonder how many of you believe that any of the things I've said in the last five lines are true.

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Jul. 7th, 2007 @ 11:39 am I'm such a follower

1. How many people have you had sex with...16 probably not going up anytime soon

2. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium, hash....out of these 12 drugs how many have you done? Zero.

3. Ever cheated on a GF/BF? Yes

4. Ever paid for sex? Yes. Us married guys pay for it all the time.

5. Ever been married? Yes

6. Ever been divorced No

7. If you had to pick one, whats your fav sexual position? Woman on top.
8. Do you own any guns? No

9. Ever done more than 30 days in jail? No

10. Ever been to rehab? No

11. Ever do anything gay sexually? No

12. Ever fuck anyone that you met on livejournal? No.

13. What size are your breasts/dick? I don't know, but my penis' dad can beat up your penis' dad.

14. Do you think Arnold could beat up Chuck Norris? No shot, now that he is off steriods

15. What celebrity would you want to fuck if you had the chance? Hilliary Clinton. Wait, I thought it said if you were having a nightmare who would you be having sex with. I'd like to like tequila out of Gwen Steffani's belly button.

16. Ever been unemployed for over a year since becoming an adult? Work? I am not familiar with this concept.

17. How many states have you lived in? 5
18. How many countries have you lived in? 1

19. Do you keep a weapon under or next to your bed at night? No, I keep my weapon in my pants.

20. What celebrity would you want to beat up? Bill Clinton and his husband Hilliary

21. Ever rolled into the harsh ghetto to buy drugs? No

22. Ever had anal sex? Yes.

23. Ever been paid for sex? No

24. Ever hired a PI to follow someone? No

25. Ever bang your friends man/woman? No

26. What is your IQ? 140 something

27. Do you think Mr. Rogers really was a pervert or do you think he just loved kids. Loved kids? Like Michael Jackson loves kids?

28. O.J. Simpson....did he do it? The glove did not fit, they had to acquit

29. Fake tits or real tits??? Big tits

30. Ever watch someone die? No

31. How long has it been since you had sex? 4 days and I'm not so happy 'bout it.

32. Name your favorite beer. Free beer.

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